Who Needs the News? Everyone Is Talking About It.

4/23/2013

Boy was I glad to have off Sunday. I talked in my previous post how the Boston Bombings had really triggered my PTSD. Well, I did what I said I was going to do and I turned off the news.

Too bad it made absolutely no difference whatsoever.

Every day I went to work, people wouldn't stop talking about the latest developments in the bombings. Yippee. Everyone knows I am a veteran and this situation was the first time I wished people didn't know. Everyone wanted my opinion on the situation. Everyone wanted to tell me about it and hear what I thought. People kept on telling me they were afraid it wasn't over - that something was going to happen again, and soon.

Not exactly the type of thing I needed to hear. So, work became trigger after trigger. The only thing that's kept me from hiding in my hole is my love for my family and my advocacy work. The gym has TVs suspended in front of every piece of cardio equipment. Any guesses as to what was on every one of those TVs?

I couldn't escape it until Sunday, my day off. I took a break from things all morning and early afternoon and just spent time with my wife and daughter. We met my sister-in-law and her two Blue Tick Coon Hounds and we went for a walk in the local park. It was really nice just to get away and enjoy a cool spring day. I felt revitalized and came home and got to work on website design for the non-profit.

So what happens now? I need to rethink my strategy for coping with this and not getting triggered at work. I can't keep this up or I am going to exhaust myself. I guess I can talk about it in group therapy this week and see what we come up with.

Adam Read

4/23/2013 01:14:24 pm

Hey man,

It's good to get things out on paper...or somewhere other than your head. It tends to make room for the next set of thoughts so the new ones and the old ones don't have to compete for air time.

I just left a message on your Facebook page.

Hang in there, man. Sometimes, we have to outsmart our own insanity.

Max Harris link

4/23/2013 01:56:10 pm

Adam,
I hear ya. Thanks for the support. It's why I have been blogging about it for two years - it's the only way I seem to be able to effectively unjumble the mess of thoughts in my head.

Dennis

4/23/2013 09:03:30 pm

Your brain can actually turn off your PTSD like a switch on a light? Years later man, I can't.
I dream it, it's part of my daily thoughts, I see it everywhere I go, I see the faces of...no, it goes on and on. Group therapy, ha.
How fortunate.

4/23/2013 09:44:19 pm

Turn it off like a light? Hell no. Getting time away from triggers so that I can re-energize myself and better cope? Yup. It's taken a lot of work and a lot of looking at myself, not liking what I saw, and doing something to change it. My group therapy is with people I trust and folks dedicated to learning skills to better manage their PTSD. That's what we hope for. Being able to better manage our PTSD so we can have lives and be worthy of the love that has found us in life. I am sorry that you have not found help that works for you. It took me nine years of searching to find what worked for me, but I never stopped looking and trying to be a better man. I hope that you find what you need to better cope. Have you looked into The Soldiers Project? I receive individual counseling from one of their trained volunteers.

Maria

4/24/2013 03:13:55 am

Adam, I read this and I thought... I know where those people who were asking you were coming from. They wanted to show you respect and make you feel like a valuable contributor. Wow, look at the difference between what they thought and what you were feeling! This is a great way to get into a conversation about what people can do to better understand how to handle a situation that involves someone with PTSD. I am not a combat vet, but I have had and am recovering from PTSD from a trauma from years ago. That experience, unfortunately has given me no idea how to handle my interactions with combat vets with PTSD. Rather than trying to bring out the triggers, is avoidance the best strategy? How did you wish people would act? I'm sorry to be pressing you with more questions, but it is so important to me to learn how to deal with this as my future as a registered dietician is going to be working with combat veterans (fingers and toes crossed that's how it works out) and I would love to know what the best approach to this type of situation is. Adam, if you could have had a magic wand and made people handle it in a way that was helpful to you... what would they do?

K. Dault link

4/24/2013 12:36:31 pm

Maria beat me to the question. I can feel empathy and want things to be better for you. But that's not enough.

Explain to those of us who don't have PTSD what can we realistically do to make life what you need it to be when a trigger event occurs. I think too many people are afraid of making a "problem" worse, so they turn their head and look the other way. Not me. I ask questions. Sometimes too many probably. :) But they come from the heart and a need to educate myself.

So how do we help you when the world feels overwhelming?

4/24/2013 01:27:31 pm

My mother said something tonight that I thought was very astute. Talking about what happened is how the rest of the world works through tragedies like what happened in Boston. It made me realize that I just need to communicate to people that I would prefer that they don't talk about it with me around. It's the best way to avoid the triggers and pointless confrontation.

As for how to best handle those situations with a combat vet? Let them guide the conversation into areas they want to talk about until you grow comfortable with each other and you know you can talk to them more directly. There is no set approach because each of us is different. I can say that offering logical solutions to an emotional problem when a combat vet with PTSD is triggered is the absolute last thing you want to do. Does that make sense?

4/27/2013 10:35:24 am

Absolutely! Most people don't want unsolicited advice and I imagine having someone who's never been in a combat situation trying to "tell" you how to feel is beyond ridiculous and frustrating.

Keep talking...I'm listening and learning.

Max Harris

4/27/2013 03:01:26 pm

And I'm grateful for a responsive audience. ;)

Adam J. Read

4/30/2013 03:11:00 pm

I guess I have my answer then. Good luck to you, Max. I hope you find the audience you're looking for.

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Living with PTSD:
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