When Push Comes to Shove, Push Back

Yet another day and more frustration and anger.  People have a tendency to try to push the boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not.  They just push, push, push...

So I pushed back.

I didn't do anything violent.  I didn't verbally abuse anyone.  I just let people know, unequivocally, what I expected of them.  I think I need to do that more often.  Things went very smoothly after.

The real problem:  I couldn't let the frustration go.  I care too much.  It makes me anxious as hell.  I have already been down this road.  The anxiety and the PTSD continually push me toward the cycle I was in all last year:  gear up for work, exhaust myself, come home useless.  It pushes and pushes...and shoves.

So I push back with all my might.

I will not let this happen again.  I will continue to take my medication, I will continue to do things with my family, I will never stop blogging, and I will learn how to cope by attending CPT.

Next week is going to be a rough one for me.  It always is.  July 30th is the big anniversary.  The one that feeds my nightmares the most.  I have yet to make it through this without the PTSD shoving me squarely on my ass.

But I will push back.  Hard.  And maybe this year, I will maintain my balance.