I had a reader ask me about my anxiety that I experienced over the past few days. I had commented on Facebook that I was having a rough day with it. Here's the cut and dry of it. I take three extra anxiety pills with me to work every day, just in case. I felt jittery when I got up on Friday. I got to work and the anxiety got exponentially worse almost immediately. I got a glass of water and my hands were shaking so hard that I almost couldn't get the pill out of my pill case.
About an hour later, I felt a noticeable down-tick in my anxiety levels. It lasted for about two hours. I had to take another pill. Same deal. I held on for as long as I could but I could feel the tangible tension in my shoulders and what I can only describe as a pressure in the back of my head. I immediately went to my boss and asked if he minded if I went home early. He said it was fine and I headed out.
My first instinct was to 'suck it up'. I was almost through the whole workday. Aside from the anxiety ratcheting up, I have no concrete reason for why I asked to go home. I guess I just knew my limits that day.
I got home and I zonked...hard.
My kidneys hurt when I woke up. I knew that the adrenalin had been coursing through my body in massive quantities but I didn't know why. I still am confounded by the intensity of the anxiety I experienced. There was no conscious trigger that I can identify and that scares me.
But back to the matter at hand: How do you know when it's time to call it a workday? I haven't a clue. I just listened to my body. I paid close attention to the clues my body was leaving me along the way. Each one of us is different. We all have different limits when it comes to dealing with anxiety. I have a high threshold, but when the threshold is reached....watch out. My reactions can be volatile and scare the uninitiated. So listen to your body, the cues it gives you. It's better to lose a few hours pay than lose a job.
How do you deal with anxiety? I'd love to hear from you all on this.
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.