The Whispers and the Looks

4/10/2012

There is a common fear among veterans with PTSD: People will know we have 'it' and whisper about us. When I see someone in public looking at me, they know...

For a long time, I was afraid of going out in public because of this. With crap like Bales being in the news and the defense lawyers blaming it on PTSD, many veterans with PTSD feel even less comfortable than we did before. It made me realize that no matter how much I type on here, it's not going to help educate the general public. So what can I do to change that? God, I don't know.

All I know is I hate that feeling. I have had people ask me, "So does that mean you are going to go crazy on us?" They say it like they're joking - like they are saying it in jest. The problem is that their voice goes up an octave when they laugh and their eyes are dead serious. They say it that way but really want to know - are we going to go John Rambo on their asses? All I know is I never think about getting violent with people until they say ignorant shit like that. BUT if that's what it takes to be able to educate someone and break the stereotype. Hmm. Maybe if I was out in public and announced to the world that I am a Combat Veteran with PTSD people would be forced to pay attention - their own fear of what I might do would take care of that. Definitely have to think about it. I'm going to go and follow this train of thought back to the station.

6 Comments

Elaina link

4/10/2012 11:40:00 am

My husband is 6'3" and weighs about 290 pounds. He was a US Marine in Vietnam. He wears a black ballcap that says, in big letters, "DYSFUNCTIONAL VETERAN, LEAVE ME ALONE."

He LIKES it that people give him a wide berth! But as for me, I'm more like you, I hate the way people look at me and treat me when they find out that I, too, have severe PTSD.

What you said: "I have had people ask me, "So does that mean you are going to go crazy on us?" They say it like they're joking - like they are saying it in jest. The problem is that their voice goes up an octave when they laugh and their eyes are dead serious. They say it that way but really want to know - are we going to go John Rambo on their asses? All I know is I never think about getting violent with people until they say ignorant shit like that."

Yes, me, too. The only time I ever want to get violent is when people say ignorant crap like that. OR, if someone says something to me like "Who Do You Think You Are?" (as one very young, very spoiled, and very ignorant and rude woman said to me a couple of years ago, when I would not do what she was demanding I do). When she asked me Who Do I Think I AM, by dam I TOLD her. I went through more hell before that child was ever born, than most normal people would experience in 20 lifetimes.

Respect. It's a dying art, it seems.

Elaina

4/10/2012 02:54:03 pm

While I'm on the subject of my great big bear of a husband liking it when people give him and his PTSD a wide berth, my hubby recently got some new tiny state-of-the-art hearing aids that are bluetooth enabled. With his cell phone tucked away in his pocket, and a small medallion with a builtin microphone worn on a chain around his neck, which he also keeps hidden under his clothes -- now when he talks on his cell phone thru his almost invisible hearing aids, he looks like he is talking to himself.

We're all accustomed to seeing people walking around in public talking on a cell phone with just a small bluetooth thingy hooked over one ear, but you don't even see that much, with my hubby's miniature hearing aids. When he's out and about wearing his DYSFUNCTIONAL VETERAN LEAVE ME ALONE ballcap, his biker gear, and talking loudly and animatedly on his totally invisible cellphone, people practically RUN to get away from him!

My sweet hubby finds it funny, but it took years for him to get to this point. For the first 10 or 15 years after he came back from Vietnam, he denied that he was a Nam Vet. He told people that he had run to Canada to avoid the draft. THAT'S how much he hated the ignorant reactions he got when people found out the truth.

Thank you for your service. I got tears in my eyes, writing that. Thank you so much for your service, from the bottom of my heart.

Elaina

Max Harris link

4/10/2012 03:44:42 pm

Thank you for your words, Elaina. It must be something about us bears (that's what my wife calls me as well). I hope that you find what I write inspirational. If you ever have a question, don't hesitate to ask!

Russel Langley

4/10/2012 03:31:17 pm

I too am a combat vet with PTSD and absolutely HATE the ignorant are you gonna go crazy joke. I only think about getting violent when I'm actually threatened.

What people don't realize is that even though I've been in combat and know how to be violent I've put that behind me. I'm a photographer now - an artist.

Keep up the good work my friend.

4/10/2012 03:46:44 pm

Russel, thank you for your support. I will continue to do what I do. I want to do more and I think I am finally starting to get the ball rolling in that direction. I will keep you and everyone else posted as things develop in the coming weeks. Best wishes and enjoy your art!!

4/10/2012 04:41:04 pm

Max Harris, you hope I find what you write inspirational? You have no idea! You are just 2 years older than my youngest son. I am in AWE of the things you write.

Also, as I said before, I am thrilled that you found my poster creation that I made on my Printmaster Platinum graphics program a few years ago, inspirational enough that you have it at the top right of this page! I'm talking about the red white and yellow photo-box that says "PTSD is a Normal Reaction to Extreme Trauma ~ just as Bleeding is a Normal Reaction to Being Stabbed." I'm seeing that more and more around the internet and it makes me very happy, because I came up with those words, and I created that little poster. How cool is that?!

Living with PTSD:
Every Day is a New Day