Sometimes You Just Need A Down Day

Every so often, you just need some down time.  I have been busy with the family and with medical issues and everything else for a while now.  Today is just for me.  Dani is taking a day for herself as well.  She is taking Caley down to her parents' and is spending  time down there quilting with her mother.  As for me, well...

I haven't decided what I am doing today.  I just know it won't involve actually doing much of anything.  I am looking forward to sitting out on the porch for a little bit here and there, reading.  Spending some quality time with my Xbox 360 may also be in order.  I am not sure yet.  I just know that today is a day to unwind and reflect on all that has happened over the last few weeks and months.  I went back and read a lot of the posts from when I first started blogging again.  They were pretty desperate and dark.  I feel like I am in a better place now and not only for myself and my family.

There is going to be a lot happening in the ensuing months.  I am getting more heavily involved in local veteran affairs and advocacy.  I am excited about where that could lead, but I don't want to get my hopes up unrealistically.  There are a lot of opportunities to improve the lives of veterans in my area (as I am sure there are everywhere) and I have some plans in the works to take advantage of those opportunities.  I will probably spend a portion of the day mulling over my ideas and setting them down on paper, writing up a business model to envelope the ideas bouncing around in my head.

Regardless, I stay aware of where I have come from and what I need to continue to do to manage my PTSD.  Some days are better than others and today's a good one.  It's what I do on the days where things aren't so hot that will narrate my story in the coming years.  I am tired of feeling angry and depressed and am working hard to fight the survivor's guilt.  As the uncertainty of the future weighs more heavily on my shoulders, I look at my daughter to keep my focus.  In the meantime, I will revel in doing whatever I please for a day.