It's been too long since I have had the energy to actually sit down and clear my head. Work has been taking every last ounce of energy I have, just to get through the days recently. The hardest part: working in a busy retail environment. Normally, it's busy but manageable. Since Labor Day Weekend, it's been a nightmare. There has been so much to do and not enough time to get everything done. Customers were four deep on the other side of the counter on many occasions. I felt surrounded, claustrophobic.
I'd come home spent, with just enough energy to keep my promise and make dinners most days, do the dishes. Other than that, ugh. I shudder to think of how I'd be right now if work hadn't made accommodations in my scheduling to help me get more regular sleep. Working in retail and having PTSD really was feeling like a match made in hell. Then, two days ago, the flood waters receded. Things returned to some semblance of normal and I actually came home with something left in the tank. What did I do with the extra emotional energy? Nothing. And if felt wonderful. I have used the past two nights after work to recharge the batteries. I have off the next two days. Today is mine to do with as I see fit. Tomorrow, I will actually have the energy to catch up on all of the work and correspondence that has been piling up. The last logo still needs to get finished and so do a lot of other tasks that have been put on the back burner over the past two weeks. Gotta get this stuff done. I hate to think about what Thanksgiving and Christmas will bring this year...
Patrick Conroy
9/15/2013 01:00:53 am
Things like a good day have been fee and far between. I can't talk to people with the connection I had prior. No matter what people think of me and how badly I get treated for my social differences nothing hurts worse when you believe it yourself. I've not met anyone nor been given a medicine that can replace the the parts of me i gave and have faded. My PTSD ruined my wife's life and all the outsiders looking in will never understand what it's like. @Patrick. You're right, I can't 100% understand because I haven't been in your shoes. But I want you to know that some of us actually want to understand, want to help, even if it's just sitting and listening when you want to talk. I'm sorry for what you've been through and that there is no magic wand to make it go away. But I do care. Many people do. Just know that you're not totally alone in this...we're just sitting quietly on the sidelines ready to help with what we can. 9/17/2013 05:54:51 am
@Patrick: Comments are closed.
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Max HarrisAs I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog. Archives
October 2018
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