As I do my best to avoid landmines on this subject, I need to put this disclaimer out there first and foremost:
I am not a doctor. I can only share my experiences with medication for PTSD, dos and do nots. Never stop taking your meds without informing your doctor of that decision first. If you are concerned about what the medications could do to you physiologically, express those concerns with your doc and see what you can do together to mitigate those effects. OK, now that we have that out of the way, let me take you on a little trip back to 2004 when I first got home. As soon as I got into the VA system, I was put on meds. I was put on trazodone for sleep (the nightmares were nightly for months after I initially got home), Citalopram HBr for mood, and Gabapentin for jitters. I took them religiously for two years. I honestly think that the compassion of my teachers and staying on my cocktail were the only reasons I made it through college. In March 2006, I met my wife, I made the classic mistake that all properly medicated people make at some point in their treatment. I felt so good, I went off my meds. I stayed off them until December 2007, I think. There may have been little spurts where I took them, but it wasn't consistent. I had graduated from college in May 2007 and the stress of having to find a good paying job was killing me. I found a job at a local bank and without my meds, I went belly up and out the door in six months. I went back to the VA and they put me on my meds again in December 2007. In May 2008, my wife graduated from Massage Therapy school. Somewhere along the way I had stopped taking my meds again. Part of the problem is that my PTSD was really out of control and I was having issues with loss of my sense of the passing of time. My wife would ask if I had taken my pills and I would tell her I had because I really thought I had. My head was a mess. In June 2008, we moved down to Georgia and things got really bad really fast. I had not access to a VA hospital that I trusted and, therefore, had no meds. We had moved down because there were supposedly a lot of jobs to be had down there. Unfortunately the economy was in full recession mode and there were no jobs to be found. I worked temp work here and there but my wife couldn't practice massage therapy because the state of Georgia never, in six months we were there, sent her a licence. Our finances were at a straining point, my PTSD in full episode (all I did was play Call of Duty 4, 12-16 hours per day). In December 2008, I took a contracting job in the Middle East out of pure desperation. We moved my wife back home to be near family and I went over to Qatar. I lasted about a month without my wife before I had to bring her over. The separation was too much. Keep in mind, I am still off my meds. Shortly after my wife got over there, we moved to Manama, Bahrain. And that's where my PTSD got dangerously bad. Without going into details, I was the worst I had ever been. I was drowning. Out of desperation, my wife put her foot down and we went home in September 2009. I knew I was screwing everything up and I was determined to get myself straight. I went back to the VA and got put on meds. I started attending group sessions. I got a job at a local grocery store and still work there. I haven't gone off my meds since. It's the only period since I have been home that I have enjoyed a true sense of stability. Over time, the docs augmented my cocktail with Lorazepam (for anxiety), and Wellbutrin (additional mood med). The reason the changes were made was because I was noticing changes in my behavior that I didn't like. The previous meds didn't seem to be working the same as they had been. So the doc evaluated me and changed it up. Brain chemistry changes over time, so there will the potential need to 'tweak' the cocktail. So what are the lessons to take away from my mistakes?
Now, I can say that meds are not for everyone. Some people will do better with natural alternatives. Some won't benefit from either. No two veterans are alike in their emotional needs. Regardless of what decision you decide to make, I ask that you consider how your potential change in emotional stability and change in demeanor could adversely affect the ones you love. It's not fair to put our loved ones through the emotional meat grinder because we are too proud to admit we actually need our meds/natural alternatives to stay stable. So, there you have it. That's my lowdown on PTSD and Medication. I encourage you to educate your loved ones on the meds you are taking, including side effects. Having extra eyes looking for disturbing changes in emotional and physical health will help you stay healthier too.
Katie
2/15/2013 07:08:36 pm
My husband took Gabapentin, which was "approved" for PTSD and he said it didn't work, but I could see a difference when I was a controlling freak about it (watching him take it at the exact time), which only made him nuts, of course! He left us for a year and promised to get help and is now taking Zoloft, just a tired and angry mess. I have a Psychopharmacology and Psychology background and was pursuing my Masters when we met. What would you suggest in your position when you started to get help to get him in the right direction? 2/16/2013 12:52:12 am
Katie,
Katie
2/17/2013 06:00:09 pm
Exactly what I needed to "hear". You can't help someone that doesn't want it. He honestly doesn't want to get help, he's too far down. I really want him to get help and don't want to leave him, but my kids need a life and can't get it like this. Thank you! 2/18/2013 01:55:55 am
Katie,
Katie
2/18/2013 03:30:26 pm
We went through that part 5 years ago. He did get help and then stopped. Same scenario pretty much a couple times a year so he knows I'm "dependable" and won't really follow through. When we met I knew he had PTSD and he wouldn't admit it then. Then there was another deployment and guilt from a child with a genetic disorder (he blames Iraq and the inactive nuclear site he was at) .He does have such a kind and sweet heart that I hate to make it final, but after the last two years that have been unlivable the end has to come or he has to wake up. Even tonight there was a special health report on the news about PTSD and I asked if he'd like to watch it with me, but no...out he went to "be alone and dwell". This is seriously why I gave up on my education because I see this and why the heck would I waste my time trying to help people that really don't want it! I'm glad I see you are reaching out and helping others in the process. You give me some hope that there is a reason. 2/19/2013 10:45:07 am
Katie,
Katie.
2/19/2013 05:46:08 pm
I hope to go back to school someday....with two very energetic young boys and the situation like it is, it doesn't seem possible right now. What I ran into with some positions is that people think you are biased and too close to the issue. I'm hopeful for things to level out around here and then he can feel comfortable to take care and focus on himself some more. Change in identity, no jobs around and readjustment make it really easy..hmmm. I'm so grateful to you for taking the time to help others! Comments are closed.
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Max HarrisAs I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog. Archives
October 2018
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