OK, so today I went to see the allergist and here's what I am very allergic to: Animal Dander, Feather, Mold, Dust Mites, Cockroaches, Trees, Grasses, Ragweed, Weeds, and Wheat. In essence, my environment. I have to completely change my diet, stop burning candles and other fresheners, keep the windows closed at all times...Change my life around completely to improve my long-term health and wellness and bring my asthma (that is what I have, the allergist says) under control. Just when I was starting to feel some semblance of stability and regularity in my home life, I have to change everything all at once.
This is just about the worst thing a person with PTSD can do. Needing to change everything at once erodes my sense of security and stability. If I am not careful, I am concerned that I will regress. So most important things first. We closed the windows and turned on the central air. We are no longer burning candles. Now I have to figure out how to eat and be satisfied without eat food with wheat in it...good good. This is a lot harder than people realize. I have to completely change my diet. No pasta. No cereal unless it is 100% corn. No bread. The list just keeps on going. That's the next big hurdle. On the bright side, I won't be able to eat all the junk food I love. I won't feel like eating much either. It won't be nearly as satisfying.
I have to stay focused and be there for my wife through all of this too. This is going to completely change her habits as well. My daughter is the only one who seems to be unaffected by all of this. Smiles and hugs all around.
I still don't like the feeling. I feel like I am snorkeling away from shore and am looking over the shallow shelf and the bottom of the ocean is dropping away. It gives you a sense of vertigo. So how does a person recover and maintain their equilibrium? I guess I will have to find out...
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.