Before I actually get into what this piece is all about, I ask that you take the time to go back and read the following blog posts: (they set the stage and tell a story when read together)
Messing with My Safe Place
Waking Up Snippy
A Much Needed Down Day
Finding Ways to Recreate My Space
OK. Those set the stage. The last one you see there was the final blog post I wrote for over six months. Things went downhill faster and faster after that. Over the course of the coming six months, I alienated all but a few friends, became more and more emotionally distant from my wife and daughter (I cannot begin to tell you how many tears I have cried over this. How much I have hurt my family). The part that made each slide downward even more painful was that I knew I was sliding and I felt powerless to stop what I saw happening. It took me the better part of the past month to process through all of this.
I think that's enough to absorb for one day. Please think about where you see the warning signs. Where I could have done things differently.
I will discuss all that I have learned from this past year in the second installment:
Powerless - A Look Back, Pt.2
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.