So...this is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I didn't exercise again today. I did stay strict on the gluten free diet and no soda and some of the weight is starting to come off. It's still really hard not to eat my feelings right now. I'm about to head to bed but tomorrow could be a big day for the company. We are one of the fastest growing companies in our area and there's an award ceremony tomorrow morning to find out where we stand on that list.
I'm really excited about it because it's a validation of all the hard work I've put in over the last few years but it still doesn't help me make sure that I make better use of my time to take care of myself when I am at home.
Upside? I got to listed to my daughter proudly read to me at her bedtime and she continue to amaze me every day. In the past the part that has really gotten me off track is my ability to be my own worst critic. I'm trying to change that a little by looking for and reinforcing the bright spots in my day. It's not easy but I don't want to get down on myself for not exercising today.
It's still disconcerting and jarring when I look in the mirror and I see the overweight guy looking back at me. I still, mentally, see myself as the fit soldier who went off to Iraq. It makes it that much harder when I look in the mirror and the reality doesn't fit my mental image of myself so I need to work to get back to some semblance of military shape.
Tomorrow's another day, though. Let's see where this goes.
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.