Two nights ago I had horrible nightmares, complete with nausea and hand washing. It was an exhausting night. What followed was even less fun: Total Apathy. My wife would ask me a question and I would say 'whatever'. I didn't care about anything, couldn't. I was completely empty of any emotion. For a bit, not even my beautiful daughter could evoke an emotional response.
Caley was the one who eventually broke through. She kept on wanting Daddy Cuddles and she looked so miserable that I wasn't paying attention to her that I finally broke down and put her on my lap. We cuddled and I started feeling a sense of well-being again. Her love is so unconditional. I am still feeling emotionally distant today, but I'm getting there. I have today off and will sit down and reflect on this past weekend. Hopefully, that helps.
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.