My Fear: Obessive Compulsive/Addictive Behavior

My wife made it very clear to me yesterday that I have obsessive compulsive tendencies that have been manifesting more and more over the past few months.  This scares the crap out of me.  I am going to talk to the docs and the social worker about it as soon as possible.  That's a relatively new wrinkle that I need to get ironed out.  I start doing something that I am passionate about and I lose sight of everything else.  I can't get my mind to focus on other things. I think the obsessive aspect of my PTSD that has manifested over the course of the past year had played a major role in making me seem emotionally inaccessible.  Is being my kind of intelligent a curse or a blessing?  I can disappear into a thought or idea for days and not realize the passing of time.  Before the PTSD, I had ideas and thoughts like this, but I was always grounded by the passing of time.  I have lost that sense.  How do I regain it?  I don't know.  I wish I did, but I don't.

So now I have to be even more careful:  I can't afford to start obsessing about whether or not I am obsessing.  That sounds confusing right?  I almost laughed when I wrote it.  It's true, though.  Looking at this another way, catastrophic thinking is, in my mind, a form of obsessive compulsive behavior.  Is it that much of a stretch to think that the obsessive behavior could manifest in other ways?  I don't think so.

I ask that you, my readers, think deeply on this.  I am asking for your input. I hope everyone has a great weekend.  I will continue to think on this as well.  Maybe together we can find a workable solution for coping with this.