Today is one of those days where I feel like my PTSD is waiting in the wings like Mr. Hyde. I can visualize it rubbing its palms together in anticipation of me slipping up. It's one of the major reasons I decided to start a new little program for myself on the fridge:
Where am I?
When am I?
Who am I living in the moment for?
When was the last time I did something for me?
What are you grateful for today?
I am going to get into the habit of answering these questions every day to help keep me focused on the here and now and not on what could happen tomorrow. If I allow myself to go down that route, wondering about tomorrow, catastrophic thinking worms its way in and I start stressing out about stuff that hasn't even happened yet. I know that I, like most vets in this situation, need constant reminders to live in the moment. To put the past and future in proper perspective. I will keep you all posted on how this is going. If anyone else has anything that they do to help with this (a process or a mantra you say to yourself). I would love to hear about it!!
If you are interested in putting up what I am now calling my personal Roll Call, the document is embedded below!
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.