I would wager I am not the only person who feels like Mr. Hyde is lurking in the shadows. He hasn't made an appearance in a long time. That's what makes me nervous. I guess I am fatalistic. I don't trust myself. I am worried that he's going to come out at the most inopportune time. I can't afford that. I need to rethink my approach to dealing with it. I just don't know how to keep him hidden if someone really pisses me off to the point that I go from yelling to quiet. It's when I get quiet that I really worry. I have gotten that pissed off once in the past year. I got quiet and calm...that's how furious I was. I went into combat mode and compartmentalized everything. I can be vicious and cold and crass when I get into this mode. I don't know how I didn't snap at anyone this time around. Is this how it's going to be? Is it like Russian Roulette?
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.