Ever since I decided to regain control of my life, some interesting things have occurred and it makes me wonder if emotional connection, even on a fundamental level, with other people is what makes the difference in finding fulfillment or not. Let me lay it out for you:
I've always been a geek. Any new technology, especially with computing and gaming, excites me. Over the past few weeks, since I have won back some semblance of my identity from the PTSD, I have made new friends who are allowing me to explore this passion at a deeper level than every before. For the first time in a while, I have felt compelled to explore new friendships and learn new skills that are way outside my expertise. It's thrilling and safe, all at the same time. This group of people share a passion for technology and entrepreneurship. Everyone is welcome and no one gets turned away. It's a level of acceptance that I haven't experienced from non-veterans in quite a while. As a matter of fact, when I told one of the guys at the last meetup what I was working on (the website, the panel in DC, PTSD advocacy), he very vehemently told me that he would be more than happy to help me learn website building and coding. He said he had a special place in his heart for programs and projects that were intended to help others. It really caught me off guard - I mean REALLY. When was the last time any of you can remember being received with open arms by a group of people that don't really know you - especially AFTER they find out you are a Combat Vet with PTSD? It's amazing what having time to decompress and get my head straight has done for me. I just hope that I continue to move in the right direction. The last thing I need or want is for my PTSD to get in the way of pursuing my passions ever again. It made me smirk when I thought about this when I woke up - So This Is What Connecting With Other People Feels Like? I could get used to this.
2 Comments
Jonathan Pevec
4/16/2012 05:16:14 am
Very glad that your passion for helping others has opened this new door for you Max. As the VA group I was attending for many years was closing down last October, I told the VA LSW who ran the group that perhaps it would be wise if we took advantage of computer technology and worked towards having group online. I was thinking towards a secure connection like Skype. I don't know if it's headed that way but it seemed reasonable to ask especially for people who are becoming more homebound. My comment drew much laughter. This is great news of a PTSD Advocacy Group in DC. I confess to not knowing much about computers but am happy to see people like yourself out front accepting that there are many tools that can go in a "life kit" which we can use daily to cope with this condition PTSD, "the belligerent twin we weren't born with and arrived uninvited."
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Jill
4/16/2012 11:31:17 am
So, so very happy to hear Max......people really are good when we let ourselves be open enough to share a little bit of our truth and vulnerability. God brings the right people into our lives at just the right time when we allow him too. Enjoy this moment, and all of its bliss :) .
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Max HarrisAs I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog. Archives
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