Ever since I decided to regain control of my life, some interesting things have occurred and it makes me wonder if emotional connection, even on a fundamental level, with other people is what makes the difference in finding fulfillment or not. Let me lay it out for you:
I've always been a geek. Any new technology, especially with computing and gaming, excites me. Over the past few weeks, since I have won back some semblance of my identity from the PTSD, I have made new friends who are allowing me to explore this passion at a deeper level than every before. For the first time in a while, I have felt compelled to explore new friendships and learn new skills that are way outside my expertise. It's thrilling and safe, all at the same time. This group of people share a passion for technology and entrepreneurship. Everyone is welcome and no one gets turned away. It's a level of acceptance that I haven't experienced from non-veterans in quite a while. As a matter of fact, when I told one of the guys at the last meetup what I was working on (the website, the panel in DC, PTSD advocacy), he very vehemently told me that he would be more than happy to help me learn website building and coding. He said he had a special place in his heart for programs and projects that were intended to help others. It really caught me off guard - I mean REALLY. When was the last time any of you can remember being received with open arms by a group of people that don't really know you - especially AFTER they find out you are a Combat Vet with PTSD?
It's amazing what having time to decompress and get my head straight has done for me. I just hope that I continue to move in the right direction. The last thing I need or want is for my PTSD to get in the way of pursuing my passions ever again. It made me smirk when I thought about this when I woke up - So This Is What Connecting With Other People Feels Like? I could get used to this.
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.