Intrusive Recollections At Work

So yeah.  I was at work and unwrapping a piece of roast beef.  What I didn't see was the pool of blood on the underside of the piece of beef.  The blood ended up splashing all over my hands and my feet.  Next thing I know, I have the smell of blood in my nose and the metallic taste in my mouth.  It wouldn't go away.  I took a break and took some extra anxiety medication and the memories just wouldn't go away.  I hadn't had sensory recollection persist like that for hours at a time.  Truly.  Hours and the smell wouldn't go away.  I tried eat something and all I could taste was blood.  I just couldn't stay at work any longer.  I ended up leaving work part of the way through my shift, distraught, and distracted.

I thought about it a lot for the rest of the day, worried that handling roast beef would cause more recollections.  Fortunately, when I was at work the next day, nothing intruded.

It's left me a lot of anxiety and I haven't been dealing with it very well.  Maybe it's more lack of sleep catching up with me.  I know I had nightmares Friday into Saturday and Saturday into Sunday.  I can always tell when I wake up after nightmares, even if I don't remember them - my muscles are sore like I was lifting weights all night.  It makes it hard to lay down and go to sleep.

I need some time to think this through.  More on this tomorrow...