Intensity Turned Inward: Being In Control

As I said in the previous post, the second outlet is a whole lot harder to articulate in a way that makes sense and doesn't make me sound like a complete control freak.  What I have discovered is that I need an outlet where the only limiting factors to success are the limitations I put on myself.  If there are barriers or external constraints on what I am trying to accomplish, my efforts can be frustrated and my drive turns inward rather quickly.  But that's not it either - I am not saying that any little bump in the road causes me to implode and become frustrated.  I am talking about arbitrary constraints that have nothing to do with achieving the goal.  As you can tell, I am still having a little trouble articulating exactly what I mean.  I need to know I am the one in charge of my my own destiny.

Easier said than done.  I need this but I don't know how to find it.  If anyone has any ideas, I'm open to suggestions.  Work isn't that outlet.  Too many arbitrary constraints.  Maybe I can put this drive into getting myself back in shape after all of my medical issues.  I will have to think about this a lot more before this is all said and done.  The last outlet, which I will discuss tomorrow is the need for an artistic outlet - the need to create something beautiful.