Even without PTSD, every person has these days. You know which ones I mean - the ones where nothing can go right for you or anyone else around you. The kind of day that starts off toxic and ends toxic. It can cause a lot of hard feelings. This kind of day can damage already fragile relationships. That being said, let me tell you about my day yesterday...
For me, Thursday never ended. I was up all night because of sinus pain and an inability to lay down. This translated in to being delirious in the morning. I was useless. Needless to say, this really ticked my wife off. I ended up sleeping the vast majority of the day away once I was able to get my hands on some allergy medication that worked worth a damn. This left her to work, take care of our daughter - take care of everything. One thing leads to another and we are mad at each other over nothing. She's mad because she's afraid it's the PTSD making me useless. I'm mad because I have stated from the very first conversation I had with my wife that day that I feel like someone used me as a punching bag. I'm mad because her attitude toward me changed and it was because of something that was completely out of my control.
So what do you do when you have a day like this? I looked at the clock. 2130. I thought, "Screw it. Tomorrow's a New Day." Some people say that it isn't healthy to go to bed angry. I disagree. It's not healthy to go to bed angry at each other. In this instance, we were mad at the situation. Royally, fucking pissed at the situation. There's a major difference between the two. The first can be resolved through communication. When its the situation, not the people that are causing the problem, talking it out can just make things worse. Just chalk it up as a bad day and start fresh the next.
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.