This one is directed to all of those families out there dealing with Combat Related PTSD that have children. Have you thought about what you would or should do if your spouse has a severe or prolonged episode? Dani and I have talked about this extensively and we have come up with a plan that works for us. Here's what we decided on.
I know it sounds extreme, but I would go to any lengths to ensure the safety and peace of mind of my daughter and wife. I am not recommending that every family set up a plan just like this one. I am asking that you talk about it with your spouse and come up with a plan that you feel comfortable with, if you feel it's even necessary. I don't think that it will ever be necessary, but I would rather have a contingency plan in place in the event that something drastic causes my world to come crashing down around me.
- We do not want our daughter to be traumatized by exposure to a prolonged bout of PTSD. This doesn't mean that we don't want her to be aware of daddy's issues or that we are going to 'hide' it from her. It means that there is a threshold of experience that shouldn't be passed for fear of having my daughter lose her innocence, fear her father, and/or be traumatized by it.
- As a result of this, I talked with Dani and we decided that she would be the one to tell me if it is time for us to enact 'the Plan'.
- I have looked into hotels that have the cheapest rates for veterans and talked to some of the halfway houses in the area. The plan in place is that I would leave and I would go to a hotel or a halfway house, depending on my wife's assessment of my mental state. I would take the time I need to get my head straight. We have the contact info of a VA social worker that we both trust implicitly. Dani would call him and let him know about the situation.
- Lastly, Dani would tell Caley that Daddy had to go away for a little bit and depending on how old Caley is at the time, explain it in a way that lets her know I am OK but gives only the details that she is able to grasp.
I know it sounds extreme, but I would go to any lengths to ensure the safety and peace of mind of my daughter and wife. I am not recommending that every family set up a plan just like this one. I am asking that you talk about it with your spouse and come up with a plan that you feel comfortable with, if you feel it's even necessary. I don't think that it will ever be necessary, but I would rather have a contingency plan in place in the event that something drastic causes my world to come crashing down around me.
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