Yesterday went really well. We've established that. Here's what ended up happening to end the day. The problem was twofold:
1) I didn't want the day to end, because it had gone so well.
2) I hunkered down in my 'PTSD Fallout Shelter' and played Xbox 360 and waited...
The end result is that I didn't go to bed until much later than I normally do and now I am exhausted. My wife was relatively annoyed with me last night because I was in a good mood and didn't want to have much to do with her or our daughter. How do you explain to someone that you are afraid that the other shoe's going to drop and you don't want them to see it when it happens?
OK, so maybe yesterday wasn't as good of a day as I thought. Everything was going well and then I started to catastrophically think about what was going to happen and it spun me up and made it hard for me to be around my family. Wonderful. It's never been quite like that before. Yet another facet to my PTSD I could have done without...
I stayed up really late. I think it's because I couldn't shut my brain down after work. I want to make sure that all of my ducks are in a row going into this job posting process I have just entered. It will be interesting to see where things go, but I really hope it doesn't interfere with my sleep again. I kept on thinking about all of the things that could go wrong and obsessing about how I could fix any problems.
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.