As I am sure many of you already know, my mom is going to be the first guest blogger for the site. We had a really good talk about what she was going to write. She thought that she should just give an intro and keep it short because people lose interest after reading a short entry. I told her that this couldn't be further from the truth. There is such a need out there for people to learn more about PTSD and to gain insight in to how to cope with it or deal with it. I told her that she could write 10 pages worth of material and people would read it because the story she is telling is that important to so many people. I know that it will be very good for me and my state of mind to get my mom involved. It has been hard on her to see her only son struggle as much as I have since I returned home from Iraq. I know a lot of you out there have been really searching for insight into how to deal with a loved one who has PTSD. I truly think, from my heart of hearts, that the story that my mom will relate will touch many of you. I hope you find it uplifting and helpful.
I was not the most friendly person to be around when I woke up this morning, but my baby-girl wanted her daddy and I was more than happy to oblige. She calmed me down and I was able to think through what was bothering me. I can't stand it when people express interest in something and then don't make themselves available to get the ball rolling. I think it is disrespectful and really gets my blood pressure elevated. What I don't understand is that this is in THEIR best interests, not mine. It makes me question whether this is something I want to pursue when the end result if they don't follow through is a dark stain on my reputation. This causes me to think about the Coalition Provisional Authority when I was over in Iraq. They would promise just enough money to start a job that would help rebuild infrastructure and then they would not follow through. In the end, it was my word - the person that translated and helped the CPA convince people that these jobs were for their benefit - MY integrity that was brought into question by the locals. I know that this situation is different, but it feels the same in my gut. So instead of being patient, I lose patience with everyone and everything. What a lovely outcome. But hey, I got to cuddle with Caley today...
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.