I went into instant freak out mode. I looked at the list of cancers attributable to burn pit exposure and it instantly crossed my mind: What if I have one of those? I need to go to the doctor. I'm dying!!
I snapped myself out of the last sentiment, but I still can't shake this overwhelming feeling of dread. What if? What if? What if? Gah! Get out of my head! I was up until almost 0400, unable to close my eyes because I couldn't get my mind to shut this line of thought down.
I have that webinar focus group today. I hope I can get this anxiety under control. I feel like I am going to crawl out of my skin. It is so frustrating - every time I feel like I am making headway and getting the PTSD under control, something comes along and messes with me. See what I mean? Catastrophic thinking at it again. At least I recognize it for what it is. That, at least, is a step in the right direction.