The other night I had a really strange nightmare. I was in a carriage stop talking to this old guy about a 19th century lithograph. He kept on talking to me and was saying how wonderful he thought the work was and that it meant a lot to him. It was 1889 (don't ask me how I know what year it was...) and this guy was really freaking me out. I recognized him from somewhere, but I couldn't place where. I woke up, shook it off and went back to sleep about 20 minutes later. The dream started right back up where it left off. I was lucid in the dream. I knew I was me and I knew that it was the wrong time period. I knew this old man shouldn't be there. Anywhere. I was getting progressively more scared because I couldn't wake up. I felt trapped in my dream. I woke up again and stayed awake until it was time to drag my exhausted butt to work. I remembered the dream, which is really uncommon for me and it stuck with me all day, distracting me and nagging at my mind. I realized the following day why the dream and the old man bothered me so much: The old man was the soldier I witnessed killed in the friendly-fire incident. My mind had imagined him as an old man. This was the first time that he had visited me in this way - normally I would relive the trauma. This really set me off kilter. Anyone else experience something like this?
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.