I was not the most friendly person to be around when I woke up this morning, but my baby-girl wanted her daddy and I was more than happy to oblige. She calmed me down and I was able to think through what was bothering me. I can't stand it when people express interest in something and then don't make themselves available to get the ball rolling. I think it is disrespectful and really gets my blood pressure elevated. What I don't understand is that this is in THEIR best interests, not mine. It makes me question whether this is something I want to pursue when the end result if they don't follow through is a dark stain on my reputation. This causes me to think about the Coalition Provisional Authority when I was over in Iraq. They would promise just enough money to start a job that would help rebuild infrastructure and then they would not follow through. In the end, it was my word - the person that translated and helped the CPA convince people that these jobs were for their benefit - MY integrity that was brought into question by the locals. I know that this situation is different, but it feels the same in my gut. So instead of being patient, I lose patience with everyone and everything. What a lovely outcome. But hey, I got to cuddle with Caley today...
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.