Anxiety, Hyper-Vigilance, and the DC Metro: I Came Prepared

As you all know by now, I spent the 8th down in DC attending a panel discussion.  The hardest part of the day I knew was coming in advance:  Riding the DC Metro.  I don't do well in subways.  Too many people to watch, too many points of ingress and egress.  It sets me on a very dangerous edge most of the time.


Knowing that I was going to be riding the DC Metro to and from the National Press Club meant I needed to prepare for the ride so that I didn't paint myself into an anxiety corner.  The panel discussion was too important.

What I decided on was taking my new sleep apnea machine down with me to DC the night before and getting a REALLY good night's sleep.  That thing works like a dream.  I may sound like Darth Vader when I'm breathing, but I woke up very well rested and better equipped to face the day.  It was pretty amazing.  It was my first night sleeping using the apnea machine and I felt like someone had flipped a switch in my brain.  I felt a whole lot more stable.  Regardless, I took an extra dose of anxiety medication to ensure I didn't freak out or get irritable on a morning when I couldn't afford it.

Then it was time:  I got on the Metro car and stood next the the door with my back to as few people as possible and a good view of the rest of the car.  It was rush hours, so there was no chance of putting my back against the wall.  I got a little jittery but the DC Metro is nothing like New York.  It's clean, quiet and comparatively efficient.  On the way back it was even easier.  The ride was off-peak and easy.

I felt incredibly proud of myself.  I recognized that the PTSD could cause a problem, identified ways of coping with it so that it wouldn't keep me from doing something I really wanted to do.  It was refreshing and a major step in the right direction.  Let's see what tomorrow brings.