Today I finally got the down time that I needed to decompress. I was so out of focus and so emotional that I didn't trust myself outside the apartment today. Dani had to work and I got some quality time with Caley as well. I didn't even realize until I spent time with Caley today that I had been a little remiss in my duties as a father and husband over the last week or so. Granted, there were extenuation circumstances like the move and Memorial Day, but it didn't make me feel any less guilty when my beautiful daughter sighed in relief that I was back to rocking her to sleep. She had been missing it terribly.
I also spent some time thinking about what I need to do moving forward. I need to make sure I stay active outside of work - I haven't been exercising. I also need to make sure that I am eating healthy. I haven't been keen on monitoring my eating habits during the last week or so. I really don't have an excuse anymore for not exercising. I have a cycling park right across the street and it would be criminal if my bike tires didn't hit the road at least three times a week.
Getting back to 'normal' has been much different this time around. It has been a little surreal to be honest. I didn't think I would be writing about this so soon. The stress of the pending move had been eating at me for over a month and I didn't realize it. My sleep was irregular, my eating was irregular. My relationship with my wife came out the other side of this a little battered and bruised but, overall, none the worse for wear. The only thing that I have been consistent about this move that has differed from all of the other ones is the fact that I never stopped or forgot to take my meds.
So when it's all said and done, tomorrow's a new day. We got through the move and we are stronger and more dedicated to each other than ever before. Let's see what tomorrow brings.
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.