Sorry about the short hiatus from writing on here. I have had a killer time the past few days. I ran into one of those situations that is really easy to brood over and I needed time to figure out what I was feeling and whether it was my PTSD talking or whether the feelings I was having were warranted. Here's the situation: I was feeling slighted and disrespected and I couldn't tell whether it was real or imagined. It took me a while to work through it, but I was able to ascertain after a number of days that it was not my imagination. I decided to confront the person responsible for this behavior. I went into it cool, calm and collected and came out the same way. The person I was confronting didn't like what I had to say, but I could honestly care less. When someone passive aggressively attacks you for months and you finally realize what they are doing, it REALLY gets under your skin. I used to respect this person. Here's the kicker. This person knew about my PTSD and used my uncertainty of my emotions to take out personal frustrations on me, like I was a whipping boy. Needless to say, that's over and done with. There will be no more of that happening again. It's the first time I have questioned whether restraining my emotions was a bad thing. I realized that one person taking advantage of my goodwill doesn't mean that everyone else should have to experience the volatility of my emotions and am staying on the track I have been on. To this nameless person (and you know who you are), you can't beat me down and you will never own me that way again!
As I continue my life with PTSD, I will share my challenges and discoveries on this blog.