- Minimizing the disruption and emotional impact on our three and a half year old daughter.
- Ensuring that neither party makes any rash decisions in the heat of the moment.
- Ensuring that we get professional counseling to guide us through the process.
- Financial Solvency
Our Daughter, Caley:
We've worked it out so that the days during the week alternate between my wife and I - it's easy since she's in pre-school and one parent can drop her off and the other picks her up. Every other week, one of us gets Caley for a four day weekend. So far it seems to be working out well, but if we find that there's issues that come from this setup, I will be sure to pass along what we learn along the way.
Duration and Basic Conditions:
- The initial length of separation will be six months.
- If my wife wants to move back in, she cannot do so until three months have expired. This may sound like a weird condition, but it's there for a reason. If she is able to work through her intense emotions and wants to reconnect and is able to open herself back up emotionally, she may still not have had enough time to work through how to cope with triggers that brings those emotions back to the surface. Our goal is to make sure that not only is she emotionally ready to recommit, but that she has the tools in place for this cycle of anger and resentment to be broken and not put us back right where we started.
- MOST IMPORTANTLY: NEITHER ONE OF US CAN TAKE THE STEP TO END THE MARRIAGE UNTIL WE HAVE GIVEN IT A FULL SIX MONTHS - WE OWE IT TO EACH OTHER AND OURSELVES TO GIVE OUR MARRIAGE SIX MONTHS.
So there you have it in a nutshell. I think that explains everything fully. If there are any aspects of this that I may have forgotten please don't hesitate to ask. Also, I know that there may be some readers out there that have gone through something similar. If there are any lessons you can share that can help us avoid common pitfalls, we're all ears.